fire lilies are also blooming. when I made one of my first flower essences from this plant back in '99 I was guided to name it Glowing Mystery.
This week my alternative to an annual early summer stock up shop at Blick in the Fenway or Central Square arrived as an online order. I'd been contemplating stocking up on some of my most-used creative staples for almost a month now. Finally went ahead once I got an email notice that all the brick and mortar stores were closed until further notice.
In the time I was filling my cart (I cogitate endlessly when I shop for just about everything - either in person or online) other artsy types were panic buying all the things you'd want plenty of if there were children stuck in a house. Hence I had to pinch hit with my first choice of glue sticks. Everything else I sought was in stock although the larger amount of hinged linen tape only had 2 boxes left before I purchased one of those.
Need vs. Want - the art supply edition.
The only two I really 'needed' above (and even by loose definition need here is really right at the line of adamant preference) were the coloursoft mid-terracotta pencil and the inktense sienna gold The latter pencil is chronically sold out over the winter holidays. On this far less celebratory occasion the other artsy people who reflexed the way I did after they got the flagship email turned the only 15 left into Hurry! just three remaining! by the time I'd completed my deliberations.
the other pencils I didn't need just felt like an enjoyable spring drawing palette to me. I didn't know much about the particular product lines of most of them. And it was a relief to be curious and a little preoccupied about something that didn't in some way have to do with our viral commonality.
One of the living adjustments I started embracing week before last involves going to bed around 3:30 a.m. and getting up between 10 and 11. This has been my ideal sleep and waking schedule since my mid-teens and as I readjust and feel my body relaxing into the compatible shift I'm deeply grateful it was a workable option. The hour between 1 and 2 am often feels especially switched-on and kinetic. This makes sense since I was born at 1:29 and have noticed we often seem to have a special energetic affinity for our birth time of day or night. In the past week I've been finding myself immersed in things I've been meaning to do for a long while but something about the plan was problematic and so I put those ideas off to one side. In the case above I spent the wee hours of this particular day deconstructing a personal power shield I had glued to a 4 foot diameter circular wood table top a neighbor put out for the trash back in '92. I saw him rolling it to the curb and was there to roll it over to my house before he was back up the steps of his porch.
I want to remake it as a garden mandala that's more paint than paper based. For now I just pried-off the things that were willing to be pried-off. Most items I re-claimed are paper-based. Many are more ripped than I would have liked because in and around the collaged paper images there are many jagged fragments of a broken mirror. I had to make a choice on the spot - to wait until the other side of sleep, don work gloves, and try to pry the mirror pieces loose before removing the paper beneath it.
The visual idea I got for re-using the paper elements suggested the ripped bits will have far greater eloquence. I felt truly excited by it and more like a pre-pandemic Acey than I've been since mid-February. When I woke up it seemed as if I was already thinking about it. Also enjoyed replaying the imagined tape of what I must have looked like down in my basement determinedly prying paper and shells and small clay concretions off an enormous wood 'shield' studded with sharp jagged pieces of mirrored glass. When I was doing it I called out softly to all the other sleepless creatives:
I see you! I'm here too!
Yesterday I brought my turtle shell rattle up here in order to shake out some grief and high wired anxiety residue. It's so powerfully obvious that we're all evolving at a rapid enough pace to leave ephemeral shed skins all over our environments. This week has brought me an ongoing sense of more active sea changes that are part of a collective evolutionary integration. Guess that's another way of saying I'm learning how to step out of my internalized subjective reality enough to get back to plugging into something larger - something I believe in with all my heart.
This is a relief. And saying as much is one of the bigger understatements of my personal world during the past month. Every day is its own learning curve it would seem. Speaking of which - I'm showing up for jude's Large Cloth presentations every day for as long as it goes. Giving the experience full focus and ongoing consideration. Making my own large cloth of choice the Young Girlhood quilt I've been stitching off and on since I brought it out with intention of finishing it. I like working on it in the later afternoon. So that's what I'm going to do right now ...