alchemical rituals

final two prompt responses

Blueganesha

The days are blending together since I've been spending so much time outside, navigating some long overdue Blue work, and just kind of traveling through/within blue in the staring into space sense of things.

i have both a lot and absolutely nothing to say.  All these years in MA knows good and well today's balmy sunshine is a fluke rather than how it's gonna be for awhile.  But it's still spring.  And I'm still sucked in.  And happy. 

because all my friends are coming back.

(today I found lush colonies of chickweed forming at the very edge of the field garden ...)

 

I can speak truth to power, period.  I can speak from the heart without ceding to the belly when under emotional duress.  I can speak comfortably with the landscape as a way to release attachment to the personal belief humans should less rather than more of that. 

I will speak at greater legnth when those seeking my counsel clearly wish to receive it.  I will speak from the place of deep trust I've been heard accurately by those in need of any given piece of information/clarification I'm able to share.  I will speak of love more frequently especially when that's the water I'm swimming in.

***

I can speak of my emotional and psychological damage without inflicting ancillary damage on someone else.  I can speak to myself in the spirit of providing good counsel rather than underscoring the victim archetype.  I can speak to others without feeling it's my job (even/especially when listeners might not agree and expect/feel entitled to such things) to make sure they're comfortable and copacetic with any given truth that needs to be voiced. 

I will speak to myself as tenderly as I wish others would speak to me.  I will speak more clearly and consistently in my written journals rather than considering the practice a self-indulgent relic of the past.  I will speak to myself in dreams, as I did last night. 


2 days of prompt responses

quick and dirty just to catch up with the prompt:

I can speak truth to the dwindling power within myself that represses, repackages, and re-aligns my personal and observational reality.  I can speak from my heart without losing bite or bark when it's needed at a collective level.  I can speak fluently when under duress and create more peace and less volume.

I will speak to myself quietly and with care.  I will speak of what matters to me irrespective of what's on trend.  I will speak of difficult subjects from a place of ease and surety that truth is more valuable than maintaining static quo.

***

I can speak truth to power, period.  I can speak from the heart without ceding to the belly when under emotional duress.  I can speak comfortably with the landscape as a way to release attachment to the personal belief humans should do less rather than more of that.

I will speak at greater length when those seeking my counsel dearly wish to receive it.  I will speak from the place of deep trust I have been heard accurately by those in need of any given piece of infromation/clarification I'm able to share.  I will speak of love more frequently - especially when that's the water I'm swimming in.

**

not really in the studio today.  Have been outside almost constantly.


new prompt: Can & Will

BlueweavingcuNow consider your projection range and intentionality:

Take five days to write out three sentences beginning with

I can speak ...

and

I will speak ...

train your 5th chakra's 'ear' in terms of understanding the difference that word choice makes

within your inner landscape.

and if it doesn't

what does that mean to you

?

***

Here's what I wrote a bit earlier:

I can speak truth and experience liberation rather than uncertainty or fear.  I can speak truth so my own ears and heart feel the power of word as a nurturing and protective force field.  I can speak truth without deciding in advance why I'm doing so or where, within truth's nature, I need to leave blank spaces or unmarked exit points due to someone else's fragility zones and other receptive side routes.

I will speak truth fictionally even when it makes me squeamishly self-conscious about how the words/story might be received.  I will speak generously with myself - time and focus wise through my journal writing for Deb's class.  I will speak out loud to the elementals and plant energies as an ongoing practice. 

***

 my day 5 entries for the hearing prompt:

I allow myself to hear anguish beneath insensitivity.  I allow myself to hear the jubilation in a friend's voice, just because we're talking together.  I allow myself to hear more woodland birds I still have never seen.

I wish to allow myself to hear the calls of specific healing herbs who wish to be considered in a new and/or more organic way.  I wish to allow myself to hear our garden bell more actively any time it rings.  I wish to allow myself to hear my inner capacity for rippling silence.

Bluetreespirit

[revelation of a tree spirit in the field last summer. we were most unnerved at first.  am going out soon to sprinkle ladies mantle/cathedral quartz elixir all around the trunk and surrounding eco-sysem.]


4th day prompt response

Boragesprinkles

I allow myself to hear with all channels open as I move into the deep-marriage stage of completing [my novel].  I allow myself to hear the details of my neighbors' lives without judgement or personalization.  I allow myself to hear our various seeds' languages rather than simply vibing with them at a color ray level. 

I wish to allow myself to hear the windchimes and bells on our property a lot more attentively and as an active of ongoing co-creative prayer.  I wish to allow myself to allow myself to hear the co-creative web's evolving growing instructions with infinite care.  I wish to allow myself to hear what hurts at the belly of my jokes, so I can remove the sting before I speak/disconnect from Heart.

***

Happy Equinox.   I did the sunrise meditation offered by Deb Soule as part of the energetic prelude the official Beginning J and I have some things planned.  Later the two dive captains will arrive to drum and announce themselves to the field energy as Guidance Systems for the participants who will be co-creating flower essences here over the coming months.

Yeah that's right.  Me in mentor mode is apparently just like me in all my other modes.  I wasn't sure about that when this whole endeavor first kicked off.  I kept walking around thinking or whispering to myself:  I'm a mentor.  I have to act like one.

what does that mean? 

but then I realized they both

expected me to act like I always act  - because that's a big part of why they hoped I'd agree to be involved.

and they told me, word for word, something I've said to both of them

about any number of life challenges and questions marks:

 

it's all about the leveling-up

because somebody's gotta.

so it might as well be us.

 

i look at those three sentences.  They say so much more than the words' meanings at the superficial glance level.

 


3rd day Prompt response

Bluewindows
I allow myself to hear spring even while seeing winter.  I allow myself to hear cooperation and love's hopefulness in moments when pain and confusion seem to be the only currency.  I allow myself to hear sentience all around rather than simply trusting or 'knowing' it's there.

I wish to allow myself to hear more in my memories that are generally visually based.  I wish to allow myself to hear less power in words of spite and panic that somebody feels less than unless they do what they can to share the toxicity.  I wish to allow myself to hear the exact syllables of collective sentience carrying itself through air, water, fire, & earth.

***

yesterday I got the wording on the second part 'incorrect' but that gave me some stuff to think about.

the true power of word for me right in this season of my life is most clearly recognized when the speaker and listener deem each one to be of equal consequence both as broadcaster and receiver.  But, really, I mean each individual word and how they are strung together as well.  When both speaker and listener are in that kind of fully conscious communication headspace.

that's where the magic happens.

***

I am finding this exercise SUPER powerful at a personal level.  Am settling into a routine with it.  After I start a new post with the previous day's entry, I close the lap top and write today's entry on its lid. 

Am going for three affirmations written for each part of the exercise. 

I have been whispering my responses just under my breath as I write them down

tomorrow I'm going to use a normal speaking voice, now that I realize that, too, would be  a great exercise.

Seriously.  Do this prompt if you aren't already.  It will bring calm and steadiness and inner connectivity.

***

Healinggardenjournals1Yesterday afternoon I took a break from writing and found wonderful stuff in my email pertaining to Deb Soule's upcoming class.  Above you see her working quietly in the Avena gardens.   .happy sigh.  Everyone in this workshop who's showing themselves is some version of a me.

and we have Deb and all the other illuminated women to guide us.  it's almost too much.  but at the same time incredibly stabilizing.

First Deb sent out a Spring Equinox meditation and ideas for creating and energizing an Equinox altar.  The photo of her personal exemplar was deeply moving to me.  The simple and simply elegant space with just the right Things and placement.

Then we received the pdf for the workshop's journal. 

it is soooooooooo beautiful.

was so busy looking at the various pages' decorations, lunar artwork, and visual prompts inspiring numerous ideas of how I might color things in as I go, that it didn't occur me until it was completely printed:  I was too excited to double check printing orientation and printed everything in landscape mode.  But.  words are my friends, comforts, and eternal guidance system.  I'm gonna be journaling at length, I'm quite sure.  So I thought I'd grab a blank book from my stash and use it with the half pages pasted in place at appropriate intervals. 

then this morning

I woke up in a 6th chakra place (this happens every morning.  But today it was actually relevant

and of pragmatic use)

and also sacral lust of a kind.

I wanted, needed, absolutely HAD to have the journal pages printed in portrait mode so I could properly admire and infuse myself with them as I worked on whatever's to come. 

emrie and the beads she ordered.

i needed and HAD to have.

So I printed it out and am so glad I did.

I even have a shiny starman blue storage pouch to keep things organized and in one place.

Starmanbluecontainer


2nd day prompt response


Blueganesha
I allow myself to hear the languages Jim and I speak that are most representative of who we are.  I allow myself to hear what I most need to tell myself.  I allows myself to hear love whenever it is offered to me.  I allow myself to hear truth in the midst of confusion.  I allow myself to hear the still inner voice that says:  draw a boundary.  do it right now.

I wish to allow myself to hear the running water in the stream, irrespective of weather, for a week beyond the Equinox.  I wish to allow myself to hear a greater absence of critical/cynical inner thoughts.  I wish to allow myself to hear the quiet dignity of a considered opinion rather than reactive buzzwords.  I wish to allow myself to hear that the universe knows me by my sacred name.

***

somebody asked:  but how do I begin?

just sit down and let it happen.  Soften your thinking/verbal-based brain the way a visual artist learns to soften their eye.  If words are super hard for you, you can draw something but TRY to learn how words are power-adjacent rather than power-erosive.

The Power of Word is Real.  Give yourself this month's time to treat it with dignity.

If you 'write' by blurting out whatever comes -

do less of that.

try mindful communication instead.

If you freeze up whenever it's your turn to speak

or you're accustomed to telling yourself you have nothing of value or meaning to contribute within any given conversation

ask yourself why.

ask yourself what would happen if you felt too safe to freeze.

(hint:  seek out your heart center for that answer)

work with it.  And yourself.

gently

in the spirit of Blue.

***

Part of the value of writing out prompts that begin (or for that matter, end) with the same words:  after you've done it for a day or two your mind will begin to automatically anticipate and respond to those words more freely and without concentrated effort.

If words are easy for you

make how you relate to your gift

less facile

less sure of itself

more open to mystery

more representative

of the words inside

that always seem to have trouble

emerging in the right order

so you tend to let them go 'for later'

when there's more time

when you can think more clear

when you somehow feel more, rather than less, ability

to 'know what to say'.

***

people say to me ALL THE TIME both online and in walking around life (this has been going on for decades)

"I'm not like you.  I don't automatically know what to say."

so truth to power:

neither do I

I just refuse to let that stop me

from figuring out what needs to be said

and saying it.

that's my 'secret' -

I just freakin' use my words, rather than not.

my weakness

is that I don't generally tend to acknowledge

to myself or anyone else

that this ability

is in and of itself

a gift.

so I'm doing that now.

 

what is YOUR often-ignored/improperly recognized blue gift ????

[knowing when to hold your tongue doesn't count, in the context of this suggestion - especially if you're female.

we're all very good at that.

but I think most of us 'play along'

rather than authentically

changing the play.

I feel super-strongly about this:

we as women have GOT to get ourselves together enough

to stop lying  'for the greater good' of ostensibly playing nicely together

so I might speak on this again sometime this month

but usually I decide

why bother.

however

that's not blue

that's really funky-lookin' yellow-orange.

not true

not blue

so we'll see ...]

 


answering questions marks

Bluebranchout

Blue is READY for us!  Ready to hold sky, ground, and any other backdrop we may need.  Blue supports our psychic and energetic branches - what/who/why we seek TO REACH (and how ...) as well as what/who/why we yearn TO RECEIVE.

Today's post is in answer to some questions about yesterday's prompt.

(one thing Blue has done here in my own life is throw open the gates of my email program.  Yesterday I had three separate "have been wanting to write you for a couple months because I have a few questions" emails.  Additionally Cheryl asked an excellent question in comments on the SLI blog that invoked my inner sense I ought to write a post about it.  I don't know how to get it all lined up yet.   But I'm going to meditate with my favorite piece of blue apatite and then - we'll see.)

Blueapatiteblg

One of the questions I've gotten a few times since Blue revved its engines boils down to:  which blue stone.

My preferences for blue that needs coaxing, solace, and/or personal assurance we are indeed prepared and ready to speak/listen at our highest available vibratory frequency:  Blue Lace Agate.  The stone itself will more than likely let you know (through losing physical and energetic vibrancy) when its time to level-up to Blue Celestite.

What about Magic?  Blue Apatite.   Because it boots the energetic signal of everything else seamlessly, and without you needing to work any additional boosting juice.  Blue Apatite is incredibly 5-d as well.  

 What is a Blue equivalent for Rose Quartz? (the person who asked seemed both startled and embarrassed when I praised the question as excellent.  Why, she asked.  And I said: because I'm still not sure of the answer between two. So I'm applying critical thinking and the 5 & 6th chakras really like that.  It gives them something to do beyond Already Knowing.

Larimar - which I also very much associate with our collective Earth Star chakra.  Far more readily and affordably available: Blue Calcite and LIGHT blue flourite.

Flower Essences?  Chicory/Raddichio for re-distributing an over-abundance of blue.  Calendula to lend a 'top note' to work/personal reconfiguration accomplished with Chicory.  Also a wonderful tune-up/daily maintenance tool for leaders of whatever kind, especially if they're impatient/sharp-tongued but no longer consider that sort of thing a super power.

Borage if you find yourself 'stuck' - or merely ponderous - along the bridge to the upper chakras.  Or have needed to repair/rebuild it.  (Borage is inherently a Heart center essence.  But it's the perfect shade of sky-based out of the blue Spirit color.   It's also a direct gateway to Cobalt and Bowie's electric (i tend to think of it as 'starman'...) blue.

I figured this out by fooling around with my watercolor paints.  and from there turned it into a color mediation to feed myself whenever I fall out of Blue alignment or feel

I don't understand [yesterday's] prompt

I'm going to post my own responses throughout the week  - but a day behind.  I'll also type what I wrote for clarity's sake.  Decided to write on lime green paper because it's such a spring/vibrancy color energy and also because it made the sky blue ink of the pen turn turquoise.  That's my fave blue after sky-tints.

316

I allow myself to hear compatible female voices.  Voices of unfamiliar/uncomfortable dissent, if only for perceptual balance. Bird song.  Wind in the trees. Music I like.  Quiet stillness.

I would like to allow myself to hear more of what disturbs me from a place of compassion. I would like to allow myself to hear "I love you" without wondering if the words truly hold meaning for the person saying them.  I would like to [ed note:  forgot 'allow myself' for this one.  this wouldn't be about 'allowing' on either end of the equation.] hear more stories from people who enjoy hearing mine. Okay.  Now I see I switched over to yellow and just started putting in my order to the cosmos.  So I'm just gonna add in 'allow myself' to the last two.  In both cases that indicates a need for scrutiny from/of the heart bridge.

I'd like to allow myself to hear more evidence of a thriving landscape beyond my property line.  I'd like to allow myself to hear silence with a different ear. 

I don't exactly know what that last sentence means.  Yet.   It came from Blue and i wrote it down.

today I'll meditate before recording my second day's answers.

 


final heart prompt: extend love's reach

Spend these final days of intensive heart contemplation actively pushing heart energy through your arms and hands.  Allow the energy to flow into everything that you touch, whenever you remember to stop and hold both the thought and its intentions.

imagine if our collective Heart left indelible traces of itself on everything we touched ...

Trustyourself


prompt: where does your heart rest?

Mossagateheartbasket

Visualize, create, or repurpose a container that's a suitable resting place for your heart.  You can leave it empty until you need it or keep a representational heart in the container at all times as a visual reminder that hearts are only as secure and vibrant as their resting space.

***

I've been working with a tiny willow basket a friend made me years and years ago - ever since I had a really bad day in which it was clear I was not holding the right energy to post on my main blog.  Since then the basket has been holding a moss agate heart.  I've been keeping it on my chakra-related stonework altar in the corner of my studio coffee table workspace.  It's incorrect to say this prompt is inspired by what sent me so far from center.  It was inspired in a way that feels more accurate to say - it was woven - by a few people who read what I wrote and had a purely heart-based response.  And in my own heart and intuitive sense of energetic wonderland, I felt that weaving happening inside of me as well as externally.

It was an incredible thing.  There were other things connected to a few local people and people who emailed or otherwise contacted me privately.  But that energetically woven basket created by simple words on a screen really knocked me out.  So far, it's my biggest single takeaway from Heart Month. 

WillowbasketinnerAt some point in the fairly recent past I came as close to having my heart hit the ground as I've come in - ever, quite frankly.  It's a different kind of thing - losing Heart throughout your consciousness.  It's nothing, for instance, like clinical depression- or any lesser kind of 'giving up' that I've experienced or observed.  Losing heart is beyond terrible.  It's, more or less, The End.

Sensing my heart dwindle with heaviness and shadows, I caught myself thinking of all the times I've rallied other women having a very hard time finding enough heart to hold all that hearts must.  A lot of times it's been intensely personal, as was/is my situation.  Even more frequently it's more collective.  For instance, the day after the '06 elections, I called a group of a my female friends, one at a time, who are (a) established leaders of some kind  (b) hypersensitive plant geeks and (c) close enough to the NYC area that they already had a rough idea of what was coming at us on a scale (i'm sorry but it has to be said since it's so freakin' true ...) the likes of which nobody had seen before.

During those calls, I shared a quote that's nearly always given Cheyenne attribution.  I only shared the first sentence:  a nation is not conquered until the hearts of its women are on the ground.  I talked to seven friends that day and I left five quotes on voice mails along with the assertion that we were needed more than ever.  I know this because I wrote about it in a journal entry I do not remember making.

Later, when the voice mail women began to unbend and recuperate enough to respond, I couldn't remember making any of the calls, either. The car accident that dinged my brain had happened.  It took one particularly fiesty NYC-for-lifer INSISTING that i had in fact left her a voice mail before I began to remember doing so as if it all happened in shadows and underwater.

***

When I recently felt my heart cruising about six inches above the ground, I mentioned it on my main blog because I knew I'd need to step away in order to heal somehow.   A couple of people were moved to leave a comment or they sent me an email.  I conceived of this prompt at that time.   My sense of the spontaneous heart-centered energy's pure love was enormously sustaining emotionally and also at a inner-screen visual level.  I saw a nest structure very similar to the tiny basket featured in this post.  But it was big and sturdy enough to hold me.  Inside there were feathers and flowers and sumptuous sprigs of many protective and healing herbs. 

I rested there, as need be, throughout my time of regeneration.

Outebasket

thank you.

it can be done ...


prompt: flip or enhance your script

Heartspread

Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday and I mention it every year on my creativity blog. 

If you're with me on that - ignore the prompt-within-the-prompt of the way this one begins and just amp up the experience to some kind of an idealized EVERYBODY loves heart day kind of level.  And note the closest thing the font color options hew towards emerald green below. We are all the way out of the primary zone so I bolded and all-capped for heart-emphasis only.

WITHOUT LINGERING OVER ALL THE REASONS WHY YOU MAY ABSOLUTELY HAAAAAAAATE (or merely ignore/'don't play into' VALENTINES DAY

what would a Day of Heart-Space that met your specific necessary criteria for being a "good" holy-day look like?

bonus question just because I'm curious this way:  How elite is the holy-ness of your personally sanctioned Day of Heart-Space? 

for example - could people with a fondness for Awful Cartoon Shaped Hearts get in

????

what if they were glittery?  and that may or may not be a trick question.  You decide.

asking for a friend, as they say ...

(obviously - Coyote Spirit's still here in ways sacred rules say we're permitted to talk about openly, should we dare.  Winter's not over yet and it was believed that meant the larger medicine spirit was sleeping.  None of the literal dawgs here are sleeping during this particular winter.  They've been up in here howling and running off the foxes throughout the night for a few weeks now.  The foxes  are now over-running the old overgrown orchards where they usually spend their summers. 

WHAT DO THE COYOTES KNOW THAT WE DON'T?

besides everything, i mean ...)

Coyoteexcellence