power of word

final two prompt responses

Blueganesha

The days are blending together since I've been spending so much time outside, navigating some long overdue Blue work, and just kind of traveling through/within blue in the staring into space sense of things.

i have both a lot and absolutely nothing to say.  All these years in MA knows good and well today's balmy sunshine is a fluke rather than how it's gonna be for awhile.  But it's still spring.  And I'm still sucked in.  And happy. 

because all my friends are coming back.

(today I found lush colonies of chickweed forming at the very edge of the field garden ...)

 

I can speak truth to power, period.  I can speak from the heart without ceding to the belly when under emotional duress.  I can speak comfortably with the landscape as a way to release attachment to the personal belief humans should less rather than more of that. 

I will speak at greater legnth when those seeking my counsel clearly wish to receive it.  I will speak from the place of deep trust I've been heard accurately by those in need of any given piece of information/clarification I'm able to share.  I will speak of love more frequently especially when that's the water I'm swimming in.

***

I can speak of my emotional and psychological damage without inflicting ancillary damage on someone else.  I can speak to myself in the spirit of providing good counsel rather than underscoring the victim archetype.  I can speak to others without feeling it's my job (even/especially when listeners might not agree and expect/feel entitled to such things) to make sure they're comfortable and copacetic with any given truth that needs to be voiced. 

I will speak to myself as tenderly as I wish others would speak to me.  I will speak more clearly and consistently in my written journals rather than considering the practice a self-indulgent relic of the past.  I will speak to myself in dreams, as I did last night. 


2 days of prompt responses

quick and dirty just to catch up with the prompt:

I can speak truth to the dwindling power within myself that represses, repackages, and re-aligns my personal and observational reality.  I can speak from my heart without losing bite or bark when it's needed at a collective level.  I can speak fluently when under duress and create more peace and less volume.

I will speak to myself quietly and with care.  I will speak of what matters to me irrespective of what's on trend.  I will speak of difficult subjects from a place of ease and surety that truth is more valuable than maintaining static quo.

***

I can speak truth to power, period.  I can speak from the heart without ceding to the belly when under emotional duress.  I can speak comfortably with the landscape as a way to release attachment to the personal belief humans should do less rather than more of that.

I will speak at greater length when those seeking my counsel dearly wish to receive it.  I will speak from the place of deep trust I have been heard accurately by those in need of any given piece of infromation/clarification I'm able to share.  I will speak of love more frequently - especially when that's the water I'm swimming in.

**

not really in the studio today.  Have been outside almost constantly.


new prompt: Can & Will

BlueweavingcuNow consider your projection range and intentionality:

Take five days to write out three sentences beginning with

I can speak ...

and

I will speak ...

train your 5th chakra's 'ear' in terms of understanding the difference that word choice makes

within your inner landscape.

and if it doesn't

what does that mean to you

?

***

Here's what I wrote a bit earlier:

I can speak truth and experience liberation rather than uncertainty or fear.  I can speak truth so my own ears and heart feel the power of word as a nurturing and protective force field.  I can speak truth without deciding in advance why I'm doing so or where, within truth's nature, I need to leave blank spaces or unmarked exit points due to someone else's fragility zones and other receptive side routes.

I will speak truth fictionally even when it makes me squeamishly self-conscious about how the words/story might be received.  I will speak generously with myself - time and focus wise through my journal writing for Deb's class.  I will speak out loud to the elementals and plant energies as an ongoing practice. 

***

 my day 5 entries for the hearing prompt:

I allow myself to hear anguish beneath insensitivity.  I allow myself to hear the jubilation in a friend's voice, just because we're talking together.  I allow myself to hear more woodland birds I still have never seen.

I wish to allow myself to hear the calls of specific healing herbs who wish to be considered in a new and/or more organic way.  I wish to allow myself to hear our garden bell more actively any time it rings.  I wish to allow myself to hear my inner capacity for rippling silence.

Bluetreespirit

[revelation of a tree spirit in the field last summer. we were most unnerved at first.  am going out soon to sprinkle ladies mantle/cathedral quartz elixir all around the trunk and surrounding eco-sysem.]


4th day prompt response

Boragesprinkles

I allow myself to hear with all channels open as I move into the deep-marriage stage of completing [my novel].  I allow myself to hear the details of my neighbors' lives without judgement or personalization.  I allow myself to hear our various seeds' languages rather than simply vibing with them at a color ray level. 

I wish to allow myself to hear the windchimes and bells on our property a lot more attentively and as an active of ongoing co-creative prayer.  I wish to allow myself to allow myself to hear the co-creative web's evolving growing instructions with infinite care.  I wish to allow myself to hear what hurts at the belly of my jokes, so I can remove the sting before I speak/disconnect from Heart.

***

Happy Equinox.   I did the sunrise meditation offered by Deb Soule as part of the energetic prelude the official Beginning J and I have some things planned.  Later the two dive captains will arrive to drum and announce themselves to the field energy as Guidance Systems for the participants who will be co-creating flower essences here over the coming months.

Yeah that's right.  Me in mentor mode is apparently just like me in all my other modes.  I wasn't sure about that when this whole endeavor first kicked off.  I kept walking around thinking or whispering to myself:  I'm a mentor.  I have to act like one.

what does that mean? 

but then I realized they both

expected me to act like I always act  - because that's a big part of why they hoped I'd agree to be involved.

and they told me, word for word, something I've said to both of them

about any number of life challenges and questions marks:

 

it's all about the leveling-up

because somebody's gotta.

so it might as well be us.

 

i look at those three sentences.  They say so much more than the words' meanings at the superficial glance level.

 


3rd day Prompt response

Bluewindows
I allow myself to hear spring even while seeing winter.  I allow myself to hear cooperation and love's hopefulness in moments when pain and confusion seem to be the only currency.  I allow myself to hear sentience all around rather than simply trusting or 'knowing' it's there.

I wish to allow myself to hear more in my memories that are generally visually based.  I wish to allow myself to hear less power in words of spite and panic that somebody feels less than unless they do what they can to share the toxicity.  I wish to allow myself to hear the exact syllables of collective sentience carrying itself through air, water, fire, & earth.

***

yesterday I got the wording on the second part 'incorrect' but that gave me some stuff to think about.

the true power of word for me right in this season of my life is most clearly recognized when the speaker and listener deem each one to be of equal consequence both as broadcaster and receiver.  But, really, I mean each individual word and how they are strung together as well.  When both speaker and listener are in that kind of fully conscious communication headspace.

that's where the magic happens.

***

I am finding this exercise SUPER powerful at a personal level.  Am settling into a routine with it.  After I start a new post with the previous day's entry, I close the lap top and write today's entry on its lid. 

Am going for three affirmations written for each part of the exercise. 

I have been whispering my responses just under my breath as I write them down

tomorrow I'm going to use a normal speaking voice, now that I realize that, too, would be  a great exercise.

Seriously.  Do this prompt if you aren't already.  It will bring calm and steadiness and inner connectivity.

***

Healinggardenjournals1Yesterday afternoon I took a break from writing and found wonderful stuff in my email pertaining to Deb Soule's upcoming class.  Above you see her working quietly in the Avena gardens.   .happy sigh.  Everyone in this workshop who's showing themselves is some version of a me.

and we have Deb and all the other illuminated women to guide us.  it's almost too much.  but at the same time incredibly stabilizing.

First Deb sent out a Spring Equinox meditation and ideas for creating and energizing an Equinox altar.  The photo of her personal exemplar was deeply moving to me.  The simple and simply elegant space with just the right Things and placement.

Then we received the pdf for the workshop's journal. 

it is soooooooooo beautiful.

was so busy looking at the various pages' decorations, lunar artwork, and visual prompts inspiring numerous ideas of how I might color things in as I go, that it didn't occur me until it was completely printed:  I was too excited to double check printing orientation and printed everything in landscape mode.  But.  words are my friends, comforts, and eternal guidance system.  I'm gonna be journaling at length, I'm quite sure.  So I thought I'd grab a blank book from my stash and use it with the half pages pasted in place at appropriate intervals. 

then this morning

I woke up in a 6th chakra place (this happens every morning.  But today it was actually relevant

and of pragmatic use)

and also sacral lust of a kind.

I wanted, needed, absolutely HAD to have the journal pages printed in portrait mode so I could properly admire and infuse myself with them as I worked on whatever's to come. 

emrie and the beads she ordered.

i needed and HAD to have.

So I printed it out and am so glad I did.

I even have a shiny starman blue storage pouch to keep things organized and in one place.

Starmanbluecontainer


answering questions marks

Bluebranchout

Blue is READY for us!  Ready to hold sky, ground, and any other backdrop we may need.  Blue supports our psychic and energetic branches - what/who/why we seek TO REACH (and how ...) as well as what/who/why we yearn TO RECEIVE.

Today's post is in answer to some questions about yesterday's prompt.

(one thing Blue has done here in my own life is throw open the gates of my email program.  Yesterday I had three separate "have been wanting to write you for a couple months because I have a few questions" emails.  Additionally Cheryl asked an excellent question in comments on the SLI blog that invoked my inner sense I ought to write a post about it.  I don't know how to get it all lined up yet.   But I'm going to meditate with my favorite piece of blue apatite and then - we'll see.)

Blueapatiteblg

One of the questions I've gotten a few times since Blue revved its engines boils down to:  which blue stone.

My preferences for blue that needs coaxing, solace, and/or personal assurance we are indeed prepared and ready to speak/listen at our highest available vibratory frequency:  Blue Lace Agate.  The stone itself will more than likely let you know (through losing physical and energetic vibrancy) when its time to level-up to Blue Celestite.

What about Magic?  Blue Apatite.   Because it boots the energetic signal of everything else seamlessly, and without you needing to work any additional boosting juice.  Blue Apatite is incredibly 5-d as well.  

 What is a Blue equivalent for Rose Quartz? (the person who asked seemed both startled and embarrassed when I praised the question as excellent.  Why, she asked.  And I said: because I'm still not sure of the answer between two. So I'm applying critical thinking and the 5 & 6th chakras really like that.  It gives them something to do beyond Already Knowing.

Larimar - which I also very much associate with our collective Earth Star chakra.  Far more readily and affordably available: Blue Calcite and LIGHT blue flourite.

Flower Essences?  Chicory/Raddichio for re-distributing an over-abundance of blue.  Calendula to lend a 'top note' to work/personal reconfiguration accomplished with Chicory.  Also a wonderful tune-up/daily maintenance tool for leaders of whatever kind, especially if they're impatient/sharp-tongued but no longer consider that sort of thing a super power.

Borage if you find yourself 'stuck' - or merely ponderous - along the bridge to the upper chakras.  Or have needed to repair/rebuild it.  (Borage is inherently a Heart center essence.  But it's the perfect shade of sky-based out of the blue Spirit color.   It's also a direct gateway to Cobalt and Bowie's electric (i tend to think of it as 'starman'...) blue.

I figured this out by fooling around with my watercolor paints.  and from there turned it into a color mediation to feed myself whenever I fall out of Blue alignment or feel

I don't understand [yesterday's] prompt

I'm going to post my own responses throughout the week  - but a day behind.  I'll also type what I wrote for clarity's sake.  Decided to write on lime green paper because it's such a spring/vibrancy color energy and also because it made the sky blue ink of the pen turn turquoise.  That's my fave blue after sky-tints.

316

I allow myself to hear compatible female voices.  Voices of unfamiliar/uncomfortable dissent, if only for perceptual balance. Bird song.  Wind in the trees. Music I like.  Quiet stillness.

I would like to allow myself to hear more of what disturbs me from a place of compassion. I would like to allow myself to hear "I love you" without wondering if the words truly hold meaning for the person saying them.  I would like to [ed note:  forgot 'allow myself' for this one.  this wouldn't be about 'allowing' on either end of the equation.] hear more stories from people who enjoy hearing mine. Okay.  Now I see I switched over to yellow and just started putting in my order to the cosmos.  So I'm just gonna add in 'allow myself' to the last two.  In both cases that indicates a need for scrutiny from/of the heart bridge.

I'd like to allow myself to hear more evidence of a thriving landscape beyond my property line.  I'd like to allow myself to hear silence with a different ear. 

I don't exactly know what that last sentence means.  Yet.   It came from Blue and i wrote it down.

today I'll meditate before recording my second day's answers.

 


prompt: what is the thing? (plus extra words)

what is the primary booby trap you know to exist and yet you tend to "forget" about it until it once again short circuits your heart center?

give it a form and a name

make friends with it.

figure out what it wants

and re-invent it

so you and your heart

and everything it touches

can be more authentically nourished

and healed

***

This morning when I woke up I knew I'd find this hastily scrawled prompt I thought up two days ago while staring out at the snow and grey sky exactly where I put it - sitting on the studio coffee table waiting for me to post it today.  Timing*, as always, asserts itself as some legit measure of being everything.

After I'd originally concluded this was a good prompt, I found I already knew what I'd choose to articulate and work with -- the heart center's 'means well' reflex that I've seen cause more harm than good and yet it's one of the biggest sand traps I routinely see within myself, think "oh well that doesn't HAVE to be a sand trap now that I've identified that it COULD be" - and then do what humans do so well: consciously and deliberately rationalize their behavior they know to be incorrect.

I rationalize why it's okay to accommodate people all the time:  it's quicker and easier, by far.  But only if you don't pay attention and cast a wide-swath of really not caring to contemplate matters of Repercussion well before they land. More things that work all too well for me:  I tell myself It's what females tend to do as a reflex and that's pretty much why there's any world left standing at all.  So that's the 'somebody has to do it' excuse. Then there's other stuff that's so entirely yellow I'm taking notes for The Trip Back Down.

Much journal writing since our heart-time began has led me to understand one of the mechanisms I'm surely capable of discarding as a short-circuiting internalized equation once and for all:  something about being nice/generous/expectation-free doesn't feel right and for whatever combination of inner flutterings I decide I'm going to circumvent that inner knowing because: personal growth. it's everywhere just waiting to happen.

how do i know i actually know what i'm certain i do, y'know?   In my every-day Acey form this is my ongoing mantra to my inner self any time I'm not writing something that proves some specific or at least abstract form of 'knowing'.  In this case, I put the words being nice in scare quotes (and then added them to knowing) because that's where they belong in context.  Here at the heart level we have the compassionate and truly safe house in which to explore the difference between authentically being a thing and being, instead, a creature of reflex and relative social comfort who provides what they believe, perceive, or simply take their level best shot at providing, for somebody with something they need which is, in turn, something we can give.  And in the case of social reflex and comfort, what we intuit they're looking for from us and our individual heart center. 

Our hearts can be confused and confusing place, is what I'm saying.   Or perhaps what I'm really saying is that it can become inappropriately crowded on the bridge.  All the other chakras can - especially in times as extraordinary as our own - instinctively migrate there.   At any given moment we've got all or some of the places that energy's meant to function to full capacity sputtering along at best.  The really liquid and juicy fuel we're possessing is inclined to head for safety and higher ground of bridge territory.  And so they're milling around - on both solo missions and murmuring amongst themselves - utterly certain they know what's best/safest/wisest about the heart's business and have the chops to 'fix' what would otherwise not be wrong at all.

*

 At the heart, on this particular day, I'm trying on compassion as I look within at the same constellation of self-perpetuated over-focus and cut-out zones I usually approach from a far more formidable (and thus inherently hyper-focused/Ajna) perspective.  And it really does shift everything.  To stand on and within the heart's Bridge function and look from a variety of directions. 

What if lasting personal change can begin with a kept commitment to shift one's internalized tone.  Instead of the lower chakra quandry : HOW do I FIX this? Or upper/head-driven impatience:  How do I fix THIS?  I'm looking for the eldering smile of long suffering patience.  The look that's been there and done that enough to ask very tenderly:  how do I fix this?  

if the heart can serve as lung through which to breathe

why can't it also serve as the higher self's sense of self, period?

and what if that self committed to asking it'Self:

what am i capable of  - but only in a soft knowing tone.

This I see as our individual and collective bridge tone as it most wishes to be.  Group Kuan Yin energy.  Timeless and yet ever-eldering at whatever age.

that's going to be my interrogative/upgrade heart work for the rest of the month at a personal level.  I decided as much during lunch yesterday.

the first task, obvi, was to sleep on the question:  what am i capable of upgrading about my current relationship to misguided heart action?

This morning I knew the answer like it was already part of my life.  We'll see how that plays itself out but I'm old so I've the ongoing sense this is my moment to get stuff done, make it count, and avoid as little as possible 'for later'.

I'm going to let no be my teacher and guide

at the first sign - deep in my heart - that something is wrong

with saying yes.

no matter how else it seems like it could/should be instead.

a lot of debris flew out of my heart as I typed the previous four lines.

four takes me back to the points forming the shape of the red root square.

a space of containment

to keep NO sacred

in case of emergency break glass

and let NO be the medicine

of true love

the more I write the easier my heart feels.

I've stopped frowning in concentration and started to smile and look out the window.  There's not much to see since it's still snowing and grey but it's a very large opening that lets in light.

in the past - once I start smiling out the window - that's always meant

i'm doing something right.

if i figure out what it is more cogently

i'll share.

No works best with a 'but what about' to follow.  Franklin and I have agreed:  when he has something to say and would like people to know he exists in a disembodied yet shared continuum I'll put it in a post within a context of my own creation*.  So simple.  maybe everything is or at least can be if heart energy is applied within the two week remaining window of Virgo grace

***

*Last night I revealed a form of accommodation that existed for a 'good' reason within my own mind.  But within helping somebody who would not be at liberty to participate that way otherwise, I didn't help 'the cause' of showcasing impeccability.  Or maybe I did.  I mean, I'd just posted hours before about it in relation to the Virgo full moon - and in a way that inspired the original comment and so forth.  Very coyote.  I bowed down to it immediately.  I mean the timing alone is worth a standing ovation of respect and appreciation.

Coyotes


the blessing of space & sanctuary

SunnystudioplantsToday this space is sunlit and elevated for the shift that's coming with the Aquarian new moon.  Am thinking about what metaphorical seeds I want to plant then.  Also note the background glimpse of an area in the room that I think of as collage fodder purgatory.  Haven't looked at anything there for four years or so.  Thinking this may change sooner than later but we'll see.

OrangeyellowquestionThroughout the past ten days or so, I've been looking at this page from an orange-yellow-gold color collection journal all the time.  I have it open for ongoing viewing on my desk.   Although I wasn't thinking on any kind of subtextual level, or considering layering meaning as well as color application, in this moment of time it seems inspired to remind myself that all sacral questions seek the resolution of volitionary action.

Leomagicsome days ago I called an official time out on my main blog.  It doesn't work to post there when I'm immersed in something as deep as it is personal.  My internalized/frail ego/vulnerability level in such times can't sustain the entire premise and purpose of that particular sharing space. But this blog doesn't aim (or need) to set either the same standard or tone.   After the time out set root of a productive nature, somebody I mentor came around to that blog's comments section and invoked all kindsa yellow/solar/leo energy he knows to be the crux of my earthly soul's resilience factor.

i thought it was - at best - aspirational on his part.

but it worked.  That's the main thing.

Griefpage1the deeper purpose of recent soul growth-work is making more than adequate space for itself.  Within that space I've begun to articulate the overwhelming season of loss I experienced - beginning around this point in the years calendar - that was due in large part to Covid.

Griefricksomething simple, imperfectly elegant, inadvertently messed-up/air bubbles and contextually Everything for the unCovid mic drop of my incomparable friend, rick.

DowhatsrightnotNear the beginning of solar month I discovered the resin smudged note while tidying up.  It's from years ago.  In the process of awaiting something 'worthy' I turned some kind of intentional corner so that I simply wanted to find it a comfortable home.

Grieftwostoriesa story of deep grief transcending itself.

SunstampYesterday evening I found a piece of fabric stamped many times with a representation of sun magic & medicine.

InthosedaysOne of the stampings was placed to headline a snippet of narrative.  I held this cloth in my hand and read the words in my handwriting seven or eight times.  I have no idea wtf this refers to.  Not just what but whom.  My twenty first year was quixotic and relatively untethered.  It spanned (this sounds way more glamorous and noteworthy in its episodic qualities than it actually was, by far ...) 3 continents  and 7 countries within the first five calendar months.  I knew - in the walking around sense - any number of men who routinely betrayed themselves.  After squeezing my mind on the subject, I can think of three who semi-routinely fell on their sword for me.  The four of us were yoked to a highly disorganized, recreationally unpleasant, and insufferably narcissistic boss.  Nuff sed.

Samplerwhole am both baffled and intriqued by the personal mystery factory.  have resolved to steam refresh, then press smooth.  Hand sew stay stitching at the edges.  Hoop it up and backstitch my words into place.  Keep going from there. 

i like the idea of this showing up somewhere that won't matter to me with somebody i won't know saying 'i wonder what THIS was all about.' 

and.

i would not be able to tell them even if I could magically be there to speak in human language once more.

 cartersfacingthedoorspeaking of words - this is what two-pass working draft quality now looks like as I wend my way through the previously procrastinated,  emotionally and mechanically difficult corridors of my novel-writing project.  Think it's obvious I keep doing this Thing on a primarily daily basis.  In the past while there have been a few days in a row when I didn't write.  The self-mother in me would not allow it.  In that time the sun didn't shine in the literal sense.  I sat on the couch and let myself be held in the love of friends as well as my personal faith in the larger universe of healing and happenstance.  This one's going to take awhile to situate and explore with the necessary level of fearlessness.  Otherwise there's no point.  I'm not a healing-lite kind of person.

note:  the two children in this snippet are 4 and half years old.  Cici is unwanted by her family (although deeply treasured and loved by Carter's people) and is thus passed around from relative to relative.  Dominic's her oldest cousin, who was similarly treated in his youth, and has thus risen to the considerable personal challenge (he and Jessie have a past that I cried for three days straight back in Sacral month to draft-out...shhhhh...) of coming back into town in order to be the steady guardian influence she needs. 

DominicrealizesasmuchIn the same eight days of keeping my own counsel, there was a three or four day window in which I didn't have a working power cord for my laptop.  J was kind (and kind of INSISTENT) enough to let me have his personal machine during his working hours.  The first day I managed to record (as opposed to write) three and a half paragraphs.  That's how much I struggled to get back in synch with a mouse and also the fact that the keyboard doesn't work very well and J thus has a second keyboard he uses precariously balanced against the first.  The second day I did better.  The third day I pretty much typed at will/ability level given the over-arching life circumstances.  My sense of accomplishment was calibrated against the fact I was aware, even as I was writing, that I wasn't actually working so much as taking myself along a compulsive jug handle of irrelevant happenstance and dialogue serving neither expository nor inter-layering purpose.  I guess it was a comfort to me.  To know most of these characters so well that I could spend a day doing that and thus coming closer to mooring myself in ways that support coming both farther and closer, perceptually, in a further "way" of some sort that's pragmatically as well as creatively driven.  And in direct relation to knowing what is true for and about me.

Whatportrait

A 2 hours old selfie.  In the present tense I'm squinting with a bowed head  because the strong sunlight's shining right in my eyes.  It feels great.

Also:  huge upgrade in the pragmatic sense.  During yesterday's snowstorm J. installed a second hand railing in the studio stairwell.  I can now walk up and down holding on with both hands.  This is a HUGE blessing given ongoing neuro-unreliability that's largely weather driven in terms of severity and duration.

Kneescaband my knee is almost healed ...


a state of relative peace & beauty

[eta:  every Thanksgiving season I seem to linger over deep appreciation for my grandmother Pearl's lasting and largely positive influence.  Today I'm bringing back a post about one of her small crib quilts.]

MoonunretouchedA lucky blur of a totally inadvertent sky capture through my dining room window at 12:30 a.m. this morning. The swelling moon is beyond the scrim of clouds on the left.  Also love the uplit burst of illumination caused by massive floodlights at the barn across the road.  Foxes are afoot.  In some kind of migration to locate "better" birthing dens where there's less human proximity.  This is the best guess of a friend who knows foxes the way I know their larger cousins the yotes.  During this time of year the latter recede into deeper woods and other reclusive stalking grounds.  The foxes quite promptly expand their summer territories accordingly. 

As soon as I saw the image above on my phone i started picking paint colors for both acrylics and watercolors.  Am making a point to have fun in my current sketchbook at least three times a week so this will be a good working inspiration on many fronts.

ThreepartoutcomeA few days back I had the brain storm to limit the scope of my card readings to something simple and standard:  where do I need to go next creatively?  Previously I meant that but asked the wrong and far more expansive question:  how do I synthesize everything cogently? The cards I pulled routinely included a sizeable number of major arcana that were clearly related to everything-everything.  It was overwhelming to try to translate that back into a response to the answer I meant to be asking.

duh.

Above:  I follow the practice of pulling three cards for the outcome position if the first two are minor cards.  Below:  The reading had just one major after months of anywhere from 4 to 7.

PriestessbotswanaMy streak of 'always' having this card brought to my attention continues.  In this context it's confirmation of something I felt it was important to expand despite the tweaking of contraction it will mean in other places. 

***

Next Thursday heralds the official beginning of second chakra deep dive contemplation.  That means our color based explorations will relate to the color ORANGE.

The second/sacral chakra corresponds to the element of water.   Common human relational associations include:  

Change     Movement     Flow

Sensation     Pleasure     Emotion

Need     Desire   Sexuality

The Shadow

Guilt     Duality

The sacral center's chief operating force is the attraction of opposites

***

WELL.  Since we've all been forced to live in Opposite World for far too long to keep our sense of foundational support vibrant and fully functioning-----what oh what are we to make of the utter mishmash going on collectively as well as more privately in the arenas suggested by the categories listed above? 

We are going to make Orange-ness of course!!  In a couple days I'll begin posting with prompts you customize by choosing a small selection of the most personally relevant categories.  What you make will be amplified by however you choose to answer the question I asked.  There's a broad scope of DEEP water involved with the organically fluid nature of our sacral center.  Much of what we may encounter there - especially in today's world of degrading the sacred and elemental natures of our individual and collective humanity - may prove far from pretty.  But one of the rudimentary powers of ORANGE is that it's a very powerful mood elevator. 

***  

I am not personally done with RED in that I wanted to complete and share my Red Root endeavor.  I just haven't felt very rooted at all.  So I may wind up sharing a sketch - possibly done in oil pastel - rather than the paint and collage rendering I have in my mind's eye.  Because I do want to get at least as far as manifesting a sense of my personal survival root in a relatively glowing and love-infused form. 

we'll see.

Note: This particular 'blank space' sensation may be easier to re-imagine as time goes on for ever so many reasons.  If you wanted to do that exercise but haven't been able to get it going try a very basic simple lined sketch or three. 

Further Note:  If you're new to sketching or simply don't do it very often mainly because you think you "aren't good enough" at it -- try to successfully encourage yourself to make three sketches of the same idea or reference material in one go. 

Readingover[selfie and writing snippets created during this morning's wee hours]

I look so much like my mother in this picture it's ridiculous.  Additionaly I'm pretty sure this is what I look like most of the time up here in the studio.  Maybe also plenty of other places even/especially when somebody's trying to talk to me about something else.  

  All of which suggests  writing's going well.  Am currently working on a lot of interstitial connective tissue sort of segments.  It's more technical on some levels as well as a lot more challenging in others.  I suck on the inside of my bottom lip a lot when I'm thinking.  Did somebody mention thinking?

[note.  end of second line should read that SHE'LL go off about. Pride IN rather than from in the third graph etc.]

ThatsfairCarter's parents were raised together.  Their mothers were best friends boomers who thought if you put kids where you could visually keep track of them you could otherwise 'safely' overlook them in favor of your own socialization needs.  Hence Vic taught her to read when she was four then encouraged her to keep it a secret until she was meant to begin learning in first grade.  And so forth.  When Jessie was 7 her parents died in a car crash and she was adopted by Vic's parents.  They were both told they were now brother and sister.  This became a problematic household edict once they were in their mid and later teens respectively. 

Hence Carter.  And now a few decades later, beginning to learn what it might mean to become a couple together during a very different season of their life.

The heart to heart above takes place on a road trip just prior to the official start of Northeast's hunkering season in very early March.  In part the trip is designed to meet Carter's new guy who's both quite similar and very different from him. 

Below Jessie gets to know her soon-to-be son in law (none of them realize this yet) by learning a bit more about what it means when he says he's not a morning person.  [there's a context for the Fallujah remark.  He's the one that 'mentioned' the topic - to himself.]

Ididntmentionfallujah

***

One of my most vehemently entitled to 'call it like I see it' email trolls gets really bent out of shape whenever I post these snippets.   Don't I realize my idea of "writing" is strictly draft quality work?  And such dross that I mistake for "work" often contains typos and grammatical errors?

Um.

Yeah.

I could?  But why bother.

***

hope all the other uber-weary stateside peeps who read here are having themselves a bit of a kickback holiday weekend despite the low-key disembodied nature of many families'  time this year.  I feel plenty of gratitude for plenty of things.  And have more than enough of everything I love as well as what I need. 

Plus the best possible good fortune:  to have my adult son right here for this particular holiday and those in the foreseeable future.  We are so much MOST grateful for his return to good health.  Although a lot rests on his ability to stay healthy and the six month check-up to see if that's happening. 

even within that caveat.  living with him well enough to make jokes, climb the stairs to the studio so that we might spend more time just the two of us (and the cat of course) talking together.  Having him well enough that I feel at liberty to mother-harass him into picking out a new winter jacket and some decent winter socks, asking him more complicated questions about his various political takes and concerns and of course the all important maternal let's-get-some-of-these-empty-juice-bottles-off-the-floor kind of thing.

that's A LOT at a time like this ...


an exorcism of sorts

ParadisefeverYesterday I woke up understanding that my plague of a headache was finally in the rear view mirror.  By the afternoon I was able to laugh at a friend's short declarative sentenced description of my annus horribilis experience so far.  The dumping-on of the traumas and deaths and difficult news has been beyond overkill but that's what it's been for me so I gotta find my zen with it.  Being able to laugh at just how crucial it IS that I laugh was basically more important to me than the absence of head pain.  That yields gratitude that I didn't have to choose.

In the later afternoon I received the following email from my friend:

Collage prompt : What does the sentient being who has been messing with your life the past 6 months look like...

And I went from old dog grieving for a departed human to my hell yeah mode just reading the words.  Because as soon as I saw it I realized it was exactly what I needed and wanted. And by nightfall I had gotten this far:

CollageIPAnd I felt so much lighter.  So much more willing to believe that in another day or two I'd feel ready and able to kick ass as need be.  And that in the meantime it was okay if I continued to move very slowly.  Yesterday I had potentially wonderful news and even if that must be tempered it was solidly good.  Also harvested a very large basket of tulsi flower buds and leaves.  Too many to fully process last night as their soothing and calming scent and vital oils overpowered my body and soul.  So I brought the remaining cuttings up to the studio early this morning to complete the garbling process.  And don't worry.  I removed that spotty leaf once I noticed it.  Yesterday afternoon I heaped that entire large basket with budding stems.

Tulsibaskets82120

WhatdoesitlooklikeThought I was going to do something else with the Ptolemy Thompkins book cover.   But this completes the taunted threat.  Also as a side note:  this book is one of my favorite memoirs ever.  We have one degree of separation by way of his father Peter.  Uh-huh.  That Peter Thompkins.  He was at our house twice.  Mega-weird times especially for the offspring of the mega-weirdest. 

or something.  Ptolemy writes beautifully, that's all I'm saying.  Have read his other books a couple of times each.  Will re-read this one last time before I gut the covers and turn it into my next woodshedding paint-oriented sketchbook/journal.