precious fragments

Prompt: do this throughout the lunation

The Sixth Chakra relates to vision/perceptual prowess.

this includes in equal measure:

what we see and how we perceive it

and

what we project of our internalized visions

.

since we're bombarded by visually based information and its counterpart

and tend to feel at least partially 'helpless'

(or perhaps giving up too much personal agency and its attendant power)

in the face of all we've witnessed of the whirling world

by the end of any given day and evening

we're going to SLOW DOWN

even more

because now we're in a sratosphere of deep space

there is no linear time

or absolute gravity

this. is.  Mind.

let's treat it with the respect and awe

it needs to reclaim

.

Every day, take a picture that relates to your visual perception within that day.

keep it separate from all the other pictures

you take for similar or disparate reasons.

this is a project.

give it a file or an album or some other storage category that means when you take/or look at your daily pictures that is ALL you are perceiving.

this is how we'll figure out (I'll be doing this too)

what we are perceiving at a blink level.

by the end of the month you'll see

what's 'really' going on with your blink-time perceptual energy.

**

pick one of the following, or since it's all so slow, go for both if you've got the space and time.

Tape together two sheets of letter sized paper.  Make sure they're the same weight if not exact duplicates

(i'll be using copier paper and taping them together with dark purple washi tape)

Every day - glue-down JUST ONE thing.

follow the same loose-eyed/no-brain approach

described above in relation to picture taking.

TAKE EACH DAY AS IT COMES

do not plan a picture

or an abstract idea

or what you currently believe to be important

or necessary.

At the end of the month you'll have a collage

that speaks your own secret language

about what's really going on

perceptually

at a slow and trusting level.

Pro-Tip:  take just a small swipe of a glue stick to adhere your pieces if that's feasible.  That way you have flexibility as the matter of placement begins to reveal it's own unique narrative as your tuck and tear and explore afresh with each new addition.

**

AND/OR:

(i want to do this one, too, but I also want to get my garden planted

and continue immersing as much as possible

in the mindblowing (and extremely visionary)

class I'm still taking.  so we'll SEE.

**

Find an indigo or very deep purple ground cloth within your fabric stash.

If you usually iron everything

before you work

don't do it this time

and conversely:

if you usually don't

find a way to create a steam dewrinkling system over a boiling pot of water or take your cloth into the shower with you and let it dry on a perfectly flat surface, with a few smooth-outs along the way.

or, y'know.   locate your iron - wherever it is - and press the fabric.

here's why:

we're going to give our existing over-extended mind-perceptions a bit of a break.  Whatever you usually/habitually/feel you absolutely MUST do in order to begin stitching speaks to the brain-hemisphere we most rely upon and, hence, tend to ignore in terms of letting it rest and have a break.

this month:  Whatever feels most NECESSARY to your mind may benefit in the long run from having a few questions asked on its behalf.  Find out if your mind is happy.  Not in the top dead center sense of happiness but more specifically:  Is your mind happy with the way you treat it?  Ask your mind to give you a one word answer to the question:  How do you feel right now?

see how honest

your mind is capable of being to its least receptive audience:

Y-O-U

.

Mind is very quick and easily engaged with something new.  Especially when the newsness fits into something

we habitually do in a different [habitual] way.

stitching is extremely tactile and connects us to our heart center via its energy pouring through the so-called lesser chakras in our palms into our work with cloth, needle, and thread.  There's a third component, of course, within the miracle-magic of hand EYE coordination.

For this particular ongoing prompt

you are adding HEART to Mind.

this can get confusing for people.

The will attempt to 'replace' their mind with the perceptions

that bloom in Heart's ether.

conversely

Mind enjoys replacing Heart.

we're told to do as much

practically from birth

and everybody likes to succeed.

**

Every day select something from your stash that speaks of your internalized perceptual visioning in the moment of selection.

**

Once you've decided where to place your fabric on any given day, stitch it JUST ONCE into position.

the reason should be visually obvious within the half cycle/full moon point.

Mind is greatly enhanced with an ongoing maximum of flexibility.

the story of tactile heart's eye-hand coordination

will require as much shifting overlaps and redefined edges

as your mind will make

in the process

of discovering itself

in this way.

[am coming up with slow month long project oriented prompts straight out da gate because this center's both my wheelhouse and the place I found consistent solace and peace throughout my challenging childhood and coming of age.  It's why ... the story of my life ... is JUST a story.

BUT

having overtaxed and thus thoroughly misunderstood, both the purpose of Mind as well as the ongoing mechanics of authentic 'survival'

I know this month is going to take me places, as the saying goes.

at the moment I'm preparing

by adding the metaphorical equivalent of a surfing leash

to my lower-case mind

.

shaka


2nd day prompt response


Blueganesha
I allow myself to hear the languages Jim and I speak that are most representative of who we are.  I allow myself to hear what I most need to tell myself.  I allows myself to hear love whenever it is offered to me.  I allow myself to hear truth in the midst of confusion.  I allow myself to hear the still inner voice that says:  draw a boundary.  do it right now.

I wish to allow myself to hear the running water in the stream, irrespective of weather, for a week beyond the Equinox.  I wish to allow myself to hear a greater absence of critical/cynical inner thoughts.  I wish to allow myself to hear the quiet dignity of a considered opinion rather than reactive buzzwords.  I wish to allow myself to hear that the universe knows me by my sacred name.

***

somebody asked:  but how do I begin?

just sit down and let it happen.  Soften your thinking/verbal-based brain the way a visual artist learns to soften their eye.  If words are super hard for you, you can draw something but TRY to learn how words are power-adjacent rather than power-erosive.

The Power of Word is Real.  Give yourself this month's time to treat it with dignity.

If you 'write' by blurting out whatever comes -

do less of that.

try mindful communication instead.

If you freeze up whenever it's your turn to speak

or you're accustomed to telling yourself you have nothing of value or meaning to contribute within any given conversation

ask yourself why.

ask yourself what would happen if you felt too safe to freeze.

(hint:  seek out your heart center for that answer)

work with it.  And yourself.

gently

in the spirit of Blue.

***

Part of the value of writing out prompts that begin (or for that matter, end) with the same words:  after you've done it for a day or two your mind will begin to automatically anticipate and respond to those words more freely and without concentrated effort.

If words are easy for you

make how you relate to your gift

less facile

less sure of itself

more open to mystery

more representative

of the words inside

that always seem to have trouble

emerging in the right order

so you tend to let them go 'for later'

when there's more time

when you can think more clear

when you somehow feel more, rather than less, ability

to 'know what to say'.

***

people say to me ALL THE TIME both online and in walking around life (this has been going on for decades)

"I'm not like you.  I don't automatically know what to say."

so truth to power:

neither do I

I just refuse to let that stop me

from figuring out what needs to be said

and saying it.

that's my 'secret' -

I just freakin' use my words, rather than not.

my weakness

is that I don't generally tend to acknowledge

to myself or anyone else

that this ability

is in and of itself

a gift.

so I'm doing that now.

 

what is YOUR often-ignored/improperly recognized blue gift ????

[knowing when to hold your tongue doesn't count, in the context of this suggestion - especially if you're female.

we're all very good at that.

but I think most of us 'play along'

rather than authentically

changing the play.

I feel super-strongly about this:

we as women have GOT to get ourselves together enough

to stop lying  'for the greater good' of ostensibly playing nicely together

so I might speak on this again sometime this month

but usually I decide

why bother.

however

that's not blue

that's really funky-lookin' yellow-orange.

not true

not blue

so we'll see ...]

 


the blessing of space & sanctuary

SunnystudioplantsToday this space is sunlit and elevated for the shift that's coming with the Aquarian new moon.  Am thinking about what metaphorical seeds I want to plant then.  Also note the background glimpse of an area in the room that I think of as collage fodder purgatory.  Haven't looked at anything there for four years or so.  Thinking this may change sooner than later but we'll see.

OrangeyellowquestionThroughout the past ten days or so, I've been looking at this page from an orange-yellow-gold color collection journal all the time.  I have it open for ongoing viewing on my desk.   Although I wasn't thinking on any kind of subtextual level, or considering layering meaning as well as color application, in this moment of time it seems inspired to remind myself that all sacral questions seek the resolution of volitionary action.

Leomagicsome days ago I called an official time out on my main blog.  It doesn't work to post there when I'm immersed in something as deep as it is personal.  My internalized/frail ego/vulnerability level in such times can't sustain the entire premise and purpose of that particular sharing space. But this blog doesn't aim (or need) to set either the same standard or tone.   After the time out set root of a productive nature, somebody I mentor came around to that blog's comments section and invoked all kindsa yellow/solar/leo energy he knows to be the crux of my earthly soul's resilience factor.

i thought it was - at best - aspirational on his part.

but it worked.  That's the main thing.

Griefpage1the deeper purpose of recent soul growth-work is making more than adequate space for itself.  Within that space I've begun to articulate the overwhelming season of loss I experienced - beginning around this point in the years calendar - that was due in large part to Covid.

Griefricksomething simple, imperfectly elegant, inadvertently messed-up/air bubbles and contextually Everything for the unCovid mic drop of my incomparable friend, rick.

DowhatsrightnotNear the beginning of solar month I discovered the resin smudged note while tidying up.  It's from years ago.  In the process of awaiting something 'worthy' I turned some kind of intentional corner so that I simply wanted to find it a comfortable home.

Grieftwostoriesa story of deep grief transcending itself.

SunstampYesterday evening I found a piece of fabric stamped many times with a representation of sun magic & medicine.

InthosedaysOne of the stampings was placed to headline a snippet of narrative.  I held this cloth in my hand and read the words in my handwriting seven or eight times.  I have no idea wtf this refers to.  Not just what but whom.  My twenty first year was quixotic and relatively untethered.  It spanned (this sounds way more glamorous and noteworthy in its episodic qualities than it actually was, by far ...) 3 continents  and 7 countries within the first five calendar months.  I knew - in the walking around sense - any number of men who routinely betrayed themselves.  After squeezing my mind on the subject, I can think of three who semi-routinely fell on their sword for me.  The four of us were yoked to a highly disorganized, recreationally unpleasant, and insufferably narcissistic boss.  Nuff sed.

Samplerwhole am both baffled and intriqued by the personal mystery factory.  have resolved to steam refresh, then press smooth.  Hand sew stay stitching at the edges.  Hoop it up and backstitch my words into place.  Keep going from there. 

i like the idea of this showing up somewhere that won't matter to me with somebody i won't know saying 'i wonder what THIS was all about.' 

and.

i would not be able to tell them even if I could magically be there to speak in human language once more.

 cartersfacingthedoorspeaking of words - this is what two-pass working draft quality now looks like as I wend my way through the previously procrastinated,  emotionally and mechanically difficult corridors of my novel-writing project.  Think it's obvious I keep doing this Thing on a primarily daily basis.  In the past while there have been a few days in a row when I didn't write.  The self-mother in me would not allow it.  In that time the sun didn't shine in the literal sense.  I sat on the couch and let myself be held in the love of friends as well as my personal faith in the larger universe of healing and happenstance.  This one's going to take awhile to situate and explore with the necessary level of fearlessness.  Otherwise there's no point.  I'm not a healing-lite kind of person.

note:  the two children in this snippet are 4 and half years old.  Cici is unwanted by her family (although deeply treasured and loved by Carter's people) and is thus passed around from relative to relative.  Dominic's her oldest cousin, who was similarly treated in his youth, and has thus risen to the considerable personal challenge (he and Jessie have a past that I cried for three days straight back in Sacral month to draft-out...shhhhh...) of coming back into town in order to be the steady guardian influence she needs. 

DominicrealizesasmuchIn the same eight days of keeping my own counsel, there was a three or four day window in which I didn't have a working power cord for my laptop.  J was kind (and kind of INSISTENT) enough to let me have his personal machine during his working hours.  The first day I managed to record (as opposed to write) three and a half paragraphs.  That's how much I struggled to get back in synch with a mouse and also the fact that the keyboard doesn't work very well and J thus has a second keyboard he uses precariously balanced against the first.  The second day I did better.  The third day I pretty much typed at will/ability level given the over-arching life circumstances.  My sense of accomplishment was calibrated against the fact I was aware, even as I was writing, that I wasn't actually working so much as taking myself along a compulsive jug handle of irrelevant happenstance and dialogue serving neither expository nor inter-layering purpose.  I guess it was a comfort to me.  To know most of these characters so well that I could spend a day doing that and thus coming closer to mooring myself in ways that support coming both farther and closer, perceptually, in a further "way" of some sort that's pragmatically as well as creatively driven.  And in direct relation to knowing what is true for and about me.

Whatportrait

A 2 hours old selfie.  In the present tense I'm squinting with a bowed head  because the strong sunlight's shining right in my eyes.  It feels great.

Also:  huge upgrade in the pragmatic sense.  During yesterday's snowstorm J. installed a second hand railing in the studio stairwell.  I can now walk up and down holding on with both hands.  This is a HUGE blessing given ongoing neuro-unreliability that's largely weather driven in terms of severity and duration.

Kneescaband my knee is almost healed ...


shibori girl yellow, etc.

YellowglennisunopenedYesterday I went through a box in which I pre-sorted a lot of yellow treasures years ago.  I virtually never look in it because I know what's there except, by now, I really don't   since I never look.  Had forgotten the above treasure and find it a perfect meditative visual aid as I continue to vacillate between, as Pam Gregory puts it, clarity and silt.  Gotta say this fantabulous grey is the most gorgeous silt I've ever contemplated!
Yellowshiborigirlopenhuh.  as usual I was scattershot and doing a few things at once.  I thought surely the words on the other side of the white paper background wouldn't show up in these pictures even though I could clearly see them with my eyes.  Also you can see I was digging in pots and plant roots today...

YellowtreasuresFirst thing this morning (3 degrees.  snowing.)  I livened up my consciousness by steam pressing a lot of the treasures I re-connected with from the unexamined box.  More Glennis beauties and a lot of stuff I messed around with on my own, plus some Artemis ribbons, a sheet of wool felt, and a piece of linen it looks like I painted with watered down yellow ochre acrylic paint.  I perceive a lot of destinies but have got to stop thinking like a 30 year old.  A lot of the things I reconnected have the feel of what I had in mind for my braid.

interest was expressed concerning the example braid so here's what that was about:

Rolledscrollin the mid aughts I was part of an international collaborative fiber arts journal project.  A modest group of us worked on Anthologies in which we each picked our own theme and then everyone in the group made a page to fit.   This particular page was for an anthology entitled Blue.  I figured somebody else would riff on Joni Mitchell so I thought about how Blue is everywhere in my home environment because J is blue to the bone and it's soothing up to a point from a mental health point of view.  But am not myself an all-blue person.  Fortunately I happened upon a Van Gogh quote that solved my dilemma:

Thereisnoblue

The unrolled scroll reveals my inspiration.   Part of the request was that we hide a quote in a secret pocket.

ScrollpocketI created a lined pocket partway across the page so it was a little less obvious of a hide.

Blueandorangefrontwoven and embroidered front of page with light beading.  Each person chose the page dimensions.  I added a cloth 'gutter' (orange strip to right) to facilitate a variety of attachment/binding options. 

Backofscrollback of scroll designed as a nod towards Van Gogh's Night Sky Over The Rhone
Secretpocketused water soluble crayons to color the indigo batik.
Orangeandyellowback


YELLOW fragments and sunlight

Yellowturtle

Although my intentions and gathering of ideas was right on schedule, I found that once January began everything slowed down internally.  My solar center wanted to solarize and simply sit in sunlight when it existed.  A lot of the time it didn't.   So I made the most of the times when it did.

YellowcalcitecrystalsYesterday, while all 3-d hell was breaking lose but I didn't yet realize that, I was in a fairly deep trancelike time-out four of sword space pondering light as it mixed with a variety of color rays.  Lacelady mentioned her fondness for yellow calcite and that set me on the search for this beautiful example I inherited from my mother.  Her rock-hounding moniker was Calcite Lil.  This is one of the few calcite pieces I've kept.  Most I gave as keepsakes to those who knew her by that name and would treasure the memory.

Yellowsilknbell[yellow silk shedding from my Primary Nest project.  am collecting to couch into place somewhere in the yellow sections.]

Two things that came to light yesterday about yellow:  I realized that this first week has felt slow and/or subterranean because I've been conscious I wanted to review the seat of solar energy as I experience it by venturing back around in my physical body/emotional memories connected to the late 30's period of time when I wasn't aware of who I was to myself.  I wanted to see what's different now - at that deep internal level.  I came away with something I always come away with:

Menopause brought me into balance with myself - so that I understand with sharp clarity who I am and am okay enough about whatever that means on any given day to feel confident in that okay-ness.  

Periodically I realize this and then kind of shrug it aside.  I feel like that's what I'm supposed to do now that it's not a new thing any more.  Who knows.  Before this month officially began one of my friends told me she was reading Wheels of Light to get ready.  I grabbed my copy to see what I might find for my own edification.  I found this - I guess it's an affirmation?  or just an insight I had - marking the page for the third chakra chapter of the book.

Facingthetruthsbad handwriting translation:  Facing the truths I already know makes my body lighter.  I am no longer holding in something I think will break me apart if I don't.  I wanted to keep this front and center in my mind especially once I tuned into the external world and felt my body instinctively want to EMbody my emotions.  Working with too much yellow energy can be soothed with deep purple.

Flouritelit1This special piece of flourite - one of the first things I collected as a personal choice rather than inheritance and gift stones & crystals - is very deep, quite dark purple unless it's in front of sunlight.  I'd gotten it out primarily so it would be charged and awake for the vision center.  But then I wanted to hold it.  Flourite is a mind/spiritual clarity stone and a great companion for the time-out energy of the four of swords vibe...

Fourofswords...In order to bring what the mind yields within that space back into the more pragmatic mind of integrating the blissed out re-charge experience with something more worldly and action driven.  I wanted to exercise volition and forward movement.  All week I've put off getting into Yellow in the studio because I wanted a certain cloth for the coffee table.  An auspicious gift that's gained a lot of layers of personal meaning since I've had it.  And then yesterday I just wanted to GET ON WITH IT.

AltarstoneworkAnd so I cleared and cleaned space.   allowed the stones to guide me.

RoughperidotLooking back at the collective timeline of yesterday - it feels kind of marvelous that the whole time I really needed to be holding a strong personal healing ally with strong grounding, protection and heart-centered affinities - I was walking around with this chunk of raw peridot. It's a gem & mineral show specimen I purchased with birthday money as a child. 

FiremanvolitionI gave the Emperor card of my slow-moving tarot deck mock-ups to Volition and the symbol for the third chakra.  I put the card on my artist's altar and propped it up against my first writing award - a grammar school slogan-winning contest for the fire department's safety awareness program.  I have no idea what it was anymore but the little statue's been important to me.  When I took the picture I liked the way the fireman was well-positioned should any solar fire eruptions shoot too high.

***

VioletglowToday was different.  More muted although I was still determined not to drown in noise. My sense of what that meant was more lenient today because I wanted more information to go with my jumbled sense of things.  Also it freaked me out I had emails from people urging me to share my thoughts.  This was before I had any thoughts - I had feelings and apprehensions expressed in words.  Not quite the same thing.

(i still don't have any thoughts.  Did notice I'm pushing most of my own emotions up to the heart level and that's an achey breaky place to be.  better than numbness.  Maybe that will become something of a ongoing reminder/prayer. 

better than numbness.

Goldencalcitelittlecrystals BackofflouritelittlecrystlsI took these two pics this morning because I thought it was cool that both the pieces had clusters of small crystals.
Sunlightagainonstones
Much sitting in the sun staring into space today.  A little painting.  Mostly the staring and while it was not at all what I imagined when I set the intention to do more of it - the quietness and steady solar absorption was very good healing energy.  I was and remain grateful I had the grace and luxury of such a day.  Periodically I'd rendezvous with J who has been having trouble unplugging.  Like me, he couldn't really settle in the creative sense to either express or re-channel.  

we are both awestruck by how young those women are - the ones who got the ballots secured.

the two of them so much braver than the seditious mob...


orangeness in art journals plus thoughts

This is actually a fairly yellow post in terms of how the words are put together as well as what they express.  [and then heart - uh - muscled into the middle of everything, too.] The journal pages hold orange-ness and distinctly orange qualities of expression.

***Please note.  i spent part of yesterday afternoon bringing back all the collage challenge posts including the numerous prep-posts I published during last December. ***

OrangejustshowupThe centerfold of my first attempt to cut and layer page edges in this kind of way.  I was working with a book that offered a full year's self-guided relatively deep dive into art journaling.  I won't mention the book title because I know this particular process - specifically it's lack of addressing mental health/emotional backup support context - is legit upsetting to a few of my friends who are art therapists. I also know how I felt myself when somebody approached the exercises here in a way that caused disruption to the mainframe for about a minute and a half's worth of teachable-ness that one hopes will be effective - or at least of some marginal use for two people just starting out on the life path of reaching out from a soulful place laced with vision clarity and then seeing what happens. 

subtext:  I'm the seasoned one, here.  so I guess my first line of business each and every month is to figure out what that means as the days unfold.

OrangeLustTulipmania
[another page in my informal botanical art journal.  first I used watercolor ground without reading about it or watching any videoes.  I just put a ton on all around the pasted down tulips.  A strand of hair got caught in it and I just cut off the part beyond the page, etc. Only in retrospect do I realize I could/should have sanded the rippling over-abundance of grounding material and at some point pressed flat[ter] under books.  At the time I wrecked a pitt pen and moved on.  We'd seen the movie Tulip Mania the night before and had a long discussion about the general historical event afterwards.  J was surprised I knew some stuff and delivered info with such enthusiastic verve.  I said to him, 'it's about flowers, isn't it ???']

One thing I learned very beautifully from last year's spontaneously decided-upon collage challenge is that amazing things can happen when someone is willing and ready to trust someone else enough to come into a place of much deeper trust with themselves.  I learned that from the group, from the amount of challenges and lessons I juggled behind the scenes, and here on the verge of the House of Self/solar center, I will also say I learned a tremendous amount from my previously established inner resources.  The most important thing I learned was that what I'd already established at an internal level was far less disparate and meager than I imagined in my conscious mind's skew of who I was. 

suicide prevention/risk assessment work needs to have a strong heart connection but the heart center itself must be protected simply to keep it beating and beaming strongly in the rest of life.  That means what I knew of myself as a leader comes from the sacral belly and Ajna territory.  I did not have the luxury (and this is exactly the most organic way to put it) of leading from my heart within my larger work.  It would have been trampled to shreds within - knowing myself as I do - less than a month.

So I found out about the specific creative/healing magic that comes from a purely heart-centered place when I started prepping for the collage challenge in December.  Part of that was various energetic/intentional magic kind of work here in the studio.  I opened a channel.  And because I came from a heart centered place - and purely a heart place - everything that came back to me was from the heart as well. 

the biggest learning:  when you aren't focused on the most broken and abandoned parts of the population, and you offer something that is purely enjoyable and fun within a built-in but intimately sized community - 95% of the heart you will be shown flowing back to you is likely to be WOW so heart-full and loving. 

this is what we all have within us at all times - the Power of Heart.  That's one of the two secondary things the collage challenge taught me.  The subtext, of course, is that combined heart energy is immeasurably powerful.  It can connect disembodied space into a bona fide community.  This is an invaluable thing to start thinking about more tangibly as another season of lockdown living gets underway.

Orangehorsesass[This is from a dedicated art journal I kept during my second Saturn return.  I was really irritated with my husband that day - who was returning right along with me.]

I think it all boils down to what's patently obvious from the onset.  People need to be able trust themselves as well as the leader.  If they can't do both they must at least have one of the trust factors firmly grounded.  After grounding comes focus.  Being willing to give that to yourself and how you're feeling/reacting before it becomes a part of the mainframe's focus.

I've always felt able to trust myself in relation to personal growth/creative exploration work.  I learned to trust my leadership abilities when a person who, by any measure, was a world class leader-oriented teacher told me I had excellent instincts and unique skills worth developing. 

Orangeravens Right now I feel that way very very strongly about the two young gentlemen doing all the heavy lifting so absolutely all I have to do is show up and maintain faith the magic will make itself for and with whoever shows up with me.

I want both R and M to move forward in learning what that means to them.  So in the coming YELLOW House of Self month I'll combine art journal pages with stuff I've learned about leadership, healing energy, and what I've learned that applies to me not quite as specifically as I've chosen to imagine in the past.  My intention is inspire an inner look at your own solar expression because we all need our inner sun's light to shine on and on and on right now.

because we are ALL leaders - if only of ourselves and what directional course we set at any given point of our day/night.

 


life/work/review: if wishes were dawgs

LightfootcoyoteThis is a dual purpose post.   The above image is the quilt block I contributed for JP's son - another deeply private person.  He and his mother shared Gemini energy.  JP and I bonded a lot over having consciously conceived sons roughly the same age who were very independent and relatively fearless activists.  Throughout her life she watched for and learned from Coyote in the 3-D landscape as well as throughout the further nine to make 12-D.   JP and I loved talking about all the elements in these sentences.  I put it all in the block and released.

 I don't have pictures of the finished raffle quilt but I'll finish telling the story of why when I've found other pictures of the backing and so forth. 

***

Starting today I'll begin bringing back old posts one at a time in a very mindful way that lets me really think about sharing in a new way while also thinking about the original sharing, its intention, and so forth. This is something I envisioned doing at an unspecified point in the not-too-long before - before I put everything in draft.  Which was an intuitive instinct I understand and am grateful to have thought through but I don't know how to explain it in words (yet) and am not entirely sure I'd choose to even if I did know how to make words fit together for this particular purpose. Imo those of us who choose to be dual status citizens living within internet community as well living on the physical planet need to have a really strong awareness of when their individualized energy needs to also run [deep]silent; when that's the wise and more holistic choice.

*

I hope that within the way I commence the work of replanting this intentional metaphorical garden space  you'll be pleased to welcome/re-discover some favorites of your own.

WhitecopalsmudgeNamaste

 

 


merging hemispheres/summer studio .1

Canopy252620

Back on a later May morning when the freshly unfurling spring canopy of hardwoods looked like the image above  J and I took a gorgeous drive to pick up our last bread order of the winter share season.  As we drove I noticed something with the eagle eye of one who was raised to see and swiftly respond to certain visual cues.   High on that list would be:

a cardboard box nestled just off the road very conspicuously labelled FREE. 

I made happy noises and talked to myself for a good 15 seconds during which J kept driving.  My internal joy stemmed from having not very successfully resigned myself to a summer season devoid of treasure hunting due to the [potentially permanent] closing of our town's freecycle shack at the dump.  I rapidly understood that, deprived of seasonal yard sale clutter busting options, any box by the road might contain more interesting pickin's than the usual sad college era mugs and commensurate coasters.

Somebody, I swiftly concluded, had gotten hunker-buggy and been unable to stop themselves from getting rid of stuff they never use/really don't like once and for all.  My first peek in the closest corner of box seemed to confirm my hunch:

Thekeys

I don't know what these keys were meant to decorate but as soon as I saw them I imagined them hanging right as they do above - on the southern corner of an enclosed space within the evolving sanctuary garden.  J really enjoys them.   We agree we wouldn't like them anywhere in the house.  But hanging from a post on a wire fence in the yard seems pretty close to perfect.

the wide shallow bowl below is (I think) 18 inches.  

Outsideofbowl But ... 'way before I got as far as seeing the keys or the above bowl I had the previous conglomeration of thoughts while J continued to drive until I suddenly found a collection of relatively cogent words. Hey!   There's stuff back there that I want!  Didn't you see it? I didn't actually know I wanted any of whatever was in the box but by this time strongly intuited it was likely.  My level of what he called 'imperious certainty' led J to conclude (and this was somewhat disconcerting for me to process after the fact) that we'd just passed a plant nursery of some kind.  What else [apparently. per my husband.] could possibly rouse me so?

I explained as briefly as possible.  Then he turned the car around while sharing the assumption I'd seen a nursery and couldn't just let us move on without stopping.   Is that what I'm normally like when we're out driving around in the non-pandemic reality??!?  To the point he'd think I'd also be that way withIN this reality????  The questions distracted me in a way that allowed me to keep the tightest lid possible on the ingrained Pearl-indoctrination that once you saw something FREE you had to be lightning fast before somebody else got to it first.  

Insideofbowl
  The first thing I saw beyond the keys was the bowl pictured inside and out above.  I thought, since I only touched it through gloves, and it was profoundly shiny in the bright morning sun, that it was metal rather than glass.  And my eye's mind saw holes drilled into parts of the edge and then attaching it somehow to the front of the potting shed.  Putting directly beneath it a birdbath and letting the blackberry canes I'd been planning to pull grow unchallenged all around it.  Hoping/intuiting this would keep the jays away from my tomatoes.

Alas it's undrillable.  This fact led to an awareness I intend to write about in more depth.  And from there  - all during the extended decontamination period we agreed mandatory because how do we know What Went On - I've had a series of increasingly impractical ideas of how to give this object a second life/designated purpose.  Followed by how to give it a single finite (but entirely appealing) purpose in another few days.

BrushmugAlso in the box - assorted glassware and the mug above.  Intuited it would be just right for holding my brushes here in the summer studio a/k/a our dining room.

  Didn't forget about attaining this stuff but got put-off and overwhelmed when I realized the big metallic disc was actually a glass bowl so shallow only a set-dresser (or possibly the exact right kind of instagram influencer) could love it. We had so many other things going on, after all!  so I left the box lurking in our garage until J started making noises about everyone doing their part to clear away some of the [admittedly out of control] clutter out there.  Earlier this week I washed everything dishwasher safe on the extended sanitizing function.  And then considered my pandemic-induced free stuff with a greater measure of focus earlier today.  

Newvignettedish
Understood straight along I'd use the not-my-style dish of some sort (at first I thought it was the lid of a particularly obnoxious butter dish) to hold stones and shells and crystals.  Had forgotten the simple enjoyment of arranging such display bowls.   And dallying among things brought to life by the addition of previously unknown things. This tableau will need some editing and additions but for today we're in prototype-land.

SandysglassesBecause I have zero clue what was in style last year-  or five or six or eighteen years ago - I did not understand at first that these shot glasses have bubbles trapped in the glass. Prior to going through the washing machine  I thought the bubbles and blurs were evidence of a DIY event gone bad.  Think their actuality is somewhat appealing and almost magical in nature.  Because. Soon after I set them out to consider how I might transform them into miniature containers filled with even smaller things I began to spontaneously narrate deep in my brain.  Just looking at the glasses there on the windowsill gave me a viable section of new skeleton territory for The Novel. The specific scene I envisioned in a whole cloth way gave me a much deeper way-in to a character who has always existed among this crew but she was never previously given her own narrative voice or even a shimmer of POV status.

CandlestickcomparisonI thought to compare and contrast the flower-shaped candle holder (there was a pair in the box) with a different glass holder that actively reflects my personal taste and style preference.    I thought I could use one of the pair as a marking tool on my gelli plate.  While taking the pic I realized I could fill the other with sand/dirt/very small pebbles and use it as an incense holder. 

Gravyboat

Have always loved gravy boats and if I were a completely different person I would have spent some period of time heretofore tra-la-la-ing my way around flea markets scooping up an entire lifetime in the making collection.  But I'm me and in that capacity have only three - each with strong family significance.    And now i have this one, too.  I like the lines of it a lot and am fully cognizant it may be a vase.  In which case for me it will always be thought of as the gravy boat vase.

Today I studied it just as it appears.  And asked it aloud what it might like to become.  And then actively imagined it replying

think of me as a vessel of cosmic good will.

I mean, sure.  Why not?  And I can't think of anything that personifies 'cosmic goodwill' more eloquently than a cluster of amethyst crystal clusters.   What comes next for this combo remains unclear.

Amesthystclusterwet

Oldnanadish

The blue dish above has a peak old Nana vibe for me.  I mean that in terms of Pearl and her friends and my adoption of Emrie's name for grace as a collective name for them.  Between now and the autumn season of ancestors I'm going to collect small notations concerning details I recall from the women who set the tone as I grew into my teenage years.  Then some type of ceremony I might be right on the brink of visualizing somewhat cogently.

who knows.

guess this is just my as upbeat as possible way of welcoming myself to our collective new third world summertime. think we already know it's gonna be a challenge of noise and happenstance.

Buttonuncertainty