This piece of yellow flourite contains some violet flourite crystals as well. They are babies compared to the old etched, classically geometric layers of yellow. I've spent a lot of time with this stone since I last posted. Or answered emails. Or, really, seriously considered doing either one of those things.
My head has not been in my game. They have been separate. It's taken this long to be in the proper mind and spirit to post a link to what I knew from the jump I wanted as my Solar musical contribution: Angelique Kidjo absolutely killing the daylights out of Voodoo Child accompanied by Buddy Guy. Highly watchable. You'll feel better. She can dance!
I associate Flourite's healing & illumination properties with Clarity. Usually I work on that via Italian Alkanet flower essence. Once the insurrection happened I found almost immediately that I didn't need anymore IA level of intense clarity. It was too much by far. I needed something deeply rooted and strictly personal as I tried to make sense of things.
[every day I do healthy stuff, spiritual work, and any number of creative/protective/YELLOW-based things in the house, outside, and/or in the studio. I mean this in terms of micro-actions at the level I've relied on during times of recuperating from long illness. One way to look at the past toxic chunk out of our lives, eh?
I love this almost entirely yellow Flora portrait by an artist many of us bow down to and learn from on all sorts of levels: Susan Seddon Boulet. A lovely picture of her as well as some fine repros of her stunning work at the link.
At a certain point - who knows how many light years' worth of days ago - I realized I finally had an answer to the question of what might break my brain entirely. For years people have asked me: how do you do it. I think: fuck if I know and then I generally say something a lot less ... coyote. Sometimes when I'm having a really hard time dealing with fill-in-the-blank I wonder what it would take for me to just opt out of whatever remains of 'mainstream' anything within my mind.
and now I know:
the so-called leader of the free world actively calling out his rabid followers to, you know, bring the boogaloo all the way home. And then they did it. And built gallows. And so forth.
the thing in it all that broke my personal brain was so shallow and entirely american in its nature: Bison horn hat guy who successfully got his freakin' organic dinner in jail and then asked for a pardon. I said okay fine. Me and my brain are not playing anymore and I am not watching asshat supreme actually go for the gold and do it. I took my mental marbles and everything they contain and I - didn't go home because frankly I'm by now entirely convinced this is not my natural galaxy let alone planet.
One day - I'm not really sure when - I sat in the sun on my dreaming couch and held the flourite up to the light, this way and that. It's been cold and unpleasant outside but today the sun came out for more than two or three spare minutes at a time. The cat and I went for a walk and I took many pictures even though we didn't go far. There were MANY MANY fox tracks in the muddy path to the field. She froze with her ears back. We came inside amidst commotion when she suddenly started running like crazy and jumping up at me in a frenzy (crazed cat yellow eyes and all) until it came close to interrupting J in the middle of a business meetings and our sudden eruption through the door. Foxes once again perceived at the brink of, and presumably then running through, the dooryard! J's declared them out of control given all the tracks on the path. He's going to do what gets done and urinate around.
[that made me remember a really funny remark jude made in comments along a similar theme and The Man that caught me off guard and i couldn't stop laughing. she was quite pleased with herself ...]
Took some pictures of the tracks and other things. Now I can't find the usb cable for either my DSLR or the phone. If I can't locate either by tomorrow I'll revert to the yellow flowers and then tear stuff apart looking.
Something I didn't post earlier in the month in response to one of the initial prompts from the main Dive material. Participants were asked to find a picture of themselves that 'captures a moment of centered and indisputable personal power'. I dickered between three possibilities at different stages of my life. Finally decided to go with my summer of '75 passport pic. Seventeen and ready to blow the country, baby! Here's a varied-shades-of-yellow story about why I have such an outdated passport when you're meant to turn them in.
When I went to get a new one, in my early forties, I said to the guy at the post office - "do you think I could keep this even though I know I'm not supposed to?" He kept looking at the picture through all of this and before I even started talking. A guy in his late fifties. So I pushed it further and said to him
"Nobody will ever believe I looked like that unless I can show them." He smiled down at the picture, told me it was a really good one, and flipped the passport back at me.
the coyote-yellow part of the story was the whole time this went on I was laughing inside because of the clear concurrence I'd need visual proof. I'm laughing a great deal just typing this story into place.
to my community friends: do you have a picture of yourself that makes you smile and say "yes - that's who I was. It's who I still am."
(volition-wise, i just want it to be summer ...)
this Sunsprite rosebush is pictured at the old place but it still exists out in the field. It's the only pedigreed rosarian level rose that's survived as long as it has. Every year it puts up a few blooms around my birthday. I don't collect them anymore. I leave them for the energy field and feed the plant but it's only ever those blooms at that time...
what is special to you? In your home or among the things you've made with your hands?
What small yellow-hopeful thing could you make with your hands on this day?