During the past week I've been meditating on the sign of libra - sometimes stopping what I'm doing in order to incorporate the action and whatever it yields into the fabric of whatever I was previously less than fully engaged with. also re-watched Pam Gregory's full moon video last night. It's been clarifying and given me food for thoughts and actions
yet at the same time
For me Libra is always seeming to be about:
I think of it just like that, and then visualize separating social/ from justice in order to create a pair of scales.
Libra is a cardinal (self-directed/leader) sign and thus everything that underlying energetic imperative tends to mean as it pertains to the key of mind&wind.
other Libra-specific properties and stomping grounds: Elegant lines in life and thought. aficionado and lover of beauty. balance. iron fist in velvet glove (for years I was very close to a double Libra soul sister who deeply relished that description of her particular mojo ...) and at a top-down humanity level: Queen or King of any given room of whatever kind - which librans are justly known to read with impeccable grace and skill. All stuff I habitually think about when considering Libra qualities and specific people that I know or have known - love or have loved.
But what I forgot about, and then recalled via PG's video - is something really paramount to moon gazing:
The libra full moon energy began to gather itself two weeks ago. It will continue for two weeks once the full moon sets.
In that linear time frame
all manner of inner - and inter-personal - relationship may be illuminated. All relationship of Self-to-Thing. self-to-Self. s/Self-to-Other
relationship seems to be coming up for a lot of us
the way presumed givens about our established RELATIONSHIP
to impeccability got real with any number of us last month.
What is our relationship to our earthwalk? Why do we feel that entire chunks of our existence leave our connection to other-relationship impermeable, but this 'can't be helped'? How are any of the other things we imagine to be true when we kinda-sorta know we're out of balance - but most primarily hold awareness of all the various things we most definitely do NOT intend to do about it - really as important as 'getting' balanced in order to maintain and consciously/constantly re-calibrate what balance authentically means to our hearts and souls?
I guess I'm asking
what if our most authentic richly layered life
of radical self-acceptance
with some type of special occasion
we deign to allow ourselves
every now and again
When I look back on the past week and a half or so, I can see how important Relationship has been to every other component of my life's flow. Every single thing. Furthermore, the energy surrounding this linear awareness has been illuminated by my ever-deepening understanding that our current cosmological flow is one of sacred unity and peace. Both universal qualities are very elevated Libra ideals, and I really love my sense of the two universal properties flooding the earth's surface by way of reflected light that's also amplified by the cosmological specifics of this Libra full moon's point in spiraling linear time.
For the past day and a half I've been experiencing an offputting neurological and perceptual re-alignment process of sorts. It's very reminiscent of grace's recent experience in that, although it's playing out quite differently, it contains the same cumulative experiential quality of combined linear happenstance and Visitation. The other glaring similarity is that I was thrown all the way out of balance in a tangibly physical and perceptual/mental way.
(i see for myself this happening as an act of imperfect perfection as I begin shifting prep-wise to the Sixth Chakra range.)
Thursday night I was sitting very happily in lotus position at my place at the dining room table - taking some realignment time following an amazing ancillary Healing Garden workshop with Lisa Estabrook. She is a very gifted (libra) Spiral Talker. Think everyone who participated wound up on a higher cloud as a result. Within that period of still elevated consciousness a tick bit me. repeatedly. I could see the small track the creature made along my outer breast, arm pit, and underarm.
Ticks being the reality they are around here, and me having a very compromised immune system, I know some measure of what a tick can bestow beyond Lyme. Lyme I know through J and his cumulative experiences with it. 'Knowing' (aka my favorite human entrapment) wasn't immediately relevant. I was tripping my brains out courtesy of the two most successful bites . It happened really fast - by the time I was looking at the results in the mirror. Even in that condition I knew to mother myself effectively. I took the tick out in one clean pull like i do it all the time because I do.
Usually, with a tick bite, I have a lot of local discomfort for maybe twice as long as would be normal with a more robust immune system. But I've never had consciousness altering responses to any sort of insect bite beyond yellow jackets. In this case, I stood in front of the mirror looking at the weird trail the tick forged on my body. And it reminded me of ritualistic body scarification in a zoomed in scale-distortion version of itself. It also reminded me of the parasitic tracks our species makes - not just on this planet but also out in space. And - obviously- it reminded me of racism's ongoing parasitic determination to Win.
I recall speaking about the latter topic to my reflection. That's not really unusual at all, unfortunately - but in this case I was doing it to make ongoing note that my tongue wasn't thickening and my pulse remained steady and wtihin normal range. It was a very weird space of time. In which I was my own mother, medic, and disintegrating self's version of Being My Own Best Friend.
it left me open to life-changing revelations concerning what's best kept and let go as well as where personal responsibility ends.
getting that last, very particular piece caused me laugh for an extended period of time last night and in the earliest morning hours of moon gazing. it was so far beyond therapeutic and elevating that I'm not sure what I would call it beyond
breathing in a very different key.