Look at the happy juniper! Miss Mama now requires supervised outside time due to her reverting to bird killing. It took me about three months to train her, a few years of good-girl not going after them and then an interloper cat about three days tops to show by example how she could Be instead. I take her out doors farther from the feed rocks and she's glad - so far - to just go on inspection tours together. It was about 20 degrees when I took the above pics - maybe quarter of 8 in the morning.
Yesterday morning - around 7:15. It felt imperative to step INTO the garden - all the way through the gate. To stand and feel the energy there. Remind myself how much of my own intentional YELLOW energy has gone into this space since last March. I saw clearly how the past season's 'human game trails' made throughout the season might solidify into a path more consciously made from what's there and how the plants move around the passageways.
grace names her young trees and I name the rocks the garden's earth offers. Every sacred space needs a dedicated male and female guardian pairing. These came from deep in the ground while J was digging the tomato patch. Lynne Margulis and Howard Zinn. LM was really deep in the ground and took J a sweaty hour to extract. They were undetectable beneath layers of vegetation during the growing season.
There's ice now as an ongoing feature. If you look at the water furthest away you can see how slow and thick it's becoming even within constant movement. This is SO different from two weeks ago when the stream rose far above the banks.
And then we went over to the frog pond and considered the holy union between then the juniper and the snowball viburnum. Also considered some winter pruning. So many plans, daydreams and necessary chores. A gardener is always inherently optimistic or at the very least willing to express hope in a few continuous seasons worth of growth.
Every once in awhile J and I recollect the afternoon he completed a previously slow-moving section of rock retaining wall repair. Back in March when we felt ourselves perpetually frustrated and certain we were being lied to or at the very least "handled" and soft-pedaled concerning the pandemic. I was surprised to see in this pic that we'd already put up two sides of the fence. It was a lot of high octane nervous YELLOW energy - I am what I prepare to become.
These plans are more quiet. Listening to what the garden itself might suggest. Listening especially to the sleeping beds of garlic and shallots. They remain covered. with a frosting of icy snow and their original two inches of mulch. In some places mulch remains. In others it doesn't. I worry what that will mean to plants left unprotected. But, realistically, the more I age the more important it will be to have developed colonies of hardy companions.
Mary's back where she belongs. It felt all wrong when she wasn't visible from the southern windows. Yesterday I fell due to neuro-overwhelm and news-related preoccupations. J is one hundred per cent plugged in and so a lot filters in as he follows me around filling me on a variety of provocative details. It's only fair. I've been doing it with him since the summer of 2015.
I keep thinking about what grace wrote: they stole Senator Warnock's day. Georgia's day, really. And yet it all still happened. Just like my crystalline happiness in the hours before I clocked in just in time to see the guy shouldering the confederate flag walking all around the place. Abrupt shift off consciousness doesn't begin to cover it, really. But still I came to everything from an unexpectedly gentle place. Even at the deeply internalized level it was definitely not what I would have expected of myself. I have stayed calm as I usually don't in the absence of Mind leading the way as it generally does.
Normally when my mind says I can't do that right now I panic really overtly. But this time I stayed calm and practical minded until yesterday afternoon. I had a purely physical emo-reaction - falling due to neuro-overwhelm and not fully inhabiting my body. It was a crash landing here in the studio. I tripped partially over my own two feet and also, due to the muscle memory of moving around a stack of magazines that's no longer there due to me worrying if I didn't get rid of it I might fall.
Here on the day after I'm far more in my body than I was! The good news is that it feels good to move and so far I'm not bothered too much by the fallout. Am achey in places that can be gently stretched with yoga. Also time to switch from ice to a hot shower. It's been helpful to move around outside - gently testing the edges of possible movement. And cold enough to keep inflammation in check!
next year's iris say hello. The iris essence I sent around came from very deep purple flowers. If you have it and find your yellow center wobbly or not as bright/grounded as you intend to be try working with this essence. Am guided to do it myself ...